Infinite Waves of Healing

Tag: RIZETransformationalCoaching

  • Why Me?

    I was sitting with a client recently who kept asking a question many of us have asked at some point in our lives:
    “Why does what I want never seem to work out for me?”

    He shared feelings overlooked for growth at work, frustrated with finances, and discouraged in his relationship. Despite being dependable, hardworking, and committed, he felt like he couldn’t catch a break — like no matter how much effort he put in, nothing was moving in his favor.

    This isn’t a rare conversation.
    Different people. Different stories.
    But the same question always surfaces: Why me?

    And truthfully, it’s a question I’ve asked myself before, too.

    When life feels like it’s not aligning, it’s easy to assume we’re doing something wrong or that we’re being overlooked, dismissed, or passed by. In work settings, many people feel that ethics and effort no longer matter — that advancement is about who you know, not how you show up. That realization can be disheartening, especially for those who lead with integrity.

    But when we ask “Why me?”, there are several ways to explore that question — without self-blame and without judgment.

    Sometimes it’s worth looking inward:

    • How are we truly showing up?
    • Are we advocating for ourselves?
    • What sets us apart beyond effort alone?

    And other times, it’s not about effort at all.

    There are moments when paths are blocked for our protection.
    A role we desire may come with stress we don’t see yet.
    An environment may require compromise that costs us peace.
    A relationship — romantic or platonic — may be draining us more than we realize.

    The same applies to relationships. Knowing when to hold on — and when to let go — is one of the hardest forms of growth. But sometimes releasing a connection creates space for alignment elsewhere. One area of our lives can quietly block growth in another.

    When we ask “Why me?”, we’re often grieving paths that were never meant for our well-being.

    The invitation is to pause.
    To look with clarity — not just emotion.
    To listen with awareness — not attachment.

    Sometimes the answer isn’t hidden.
    We’re just looking through the lens of desire instead of discernment.Remain thankful.
    Trust that even the smallest redirection can support transformation.
    What feels like a delay may actually be protection.
    What feels like loss may be making room for elevation.

  • Grief: The Struggle to Accept Loss

    Loss doesn’t always mean the death of a loved one—it can also be the loss of a relationship, community, home, health, or even a version of your past life.

    Different Forms of Loss

    • Loss of a loved one: The deep pain of saying goodbye to someone who has passed.
    • Loss of a relationship: Friendships, marriages, or bonds that dissolve, leaving a void.
    • Loss of a pet: Our pets walk with us through seasons of life, and their passing can be just as heavy as losing a family member.
    • Loss of community: Moving away or watching a familiar place change in ways you aren’t ready for.
    • Loss of home: This could mean losing a family home, or tragedy striking through fire, storm, or other unexpected events.
    • Loss of lifestyle: When life transitions—career shifts, health changes, or personal growth—you may grieve the “old you” and the connections that once felt secure.

    Grieving is not wrong—but if we’re not careful, we can get stuck.

    My Story of Grief

    In 2010, I lost my baby. He lived less than 30 minutes after birth. For the next 10 years, I carried guilt and sadness that shaped my choices. I “partied” to hide my pain, but joy felt like something I didn’t deserve. Even when I smiled, my thoughts returned to what if and why not me.

    Grief held me hostage until I learned that healing didn’t mean forgetting—it meant finding peace while honoring my love for him.

    Witnessing Grief in Others

    I know someone who has been grieving their health. At a young age, he became a dialysis patient. For years he resisted acceptance, living as though nothing had changed., which resulted in constant stays at the hospital. Later, grief transformed into quietness—perhaps acceptance, perhaps exhaustion. Watching him reminds me that grief is not always loud; sometimes it is silent.

    Understanding Grief

    Your grief will not look like mine, and mine will not look like yours. Grief is not packaged the same way for everyone.

    Many people suffer silently, unsure how to name what they feel or how to move forward. Some believe grief is just “something to get over.” But grief is more than pain—it is love and attachment to what once was.

    A Gentle Reminder

    • Be kind to yourself.
    • Lean on your support system or seek therapy.
    • Remember: you are not weak for grieving.
    • Discover tools that help when it feels overwhelming—journaling, meditation, or energy practices.
    • Honor your memories, but also give yourself permission to grow.

    Grief is powerful. Left unchecked, it can lead to hopelessness, anger, or disconnection. But when we meet it with compassion, grief can also become a teacher—guiding us toward transformation.

    ✨ If you are grieving, please know: you are not alone.